US Embassy in Germany Protects Americans from Soccer Fans Armed with Bratwurst

Tonight is the semi-final Euro-cup match between Germany and Turkey. People here in Germany really like soccer, and do things like watch it on outside screenings.  But the US Embassy is on its toes! Americans in Germany are warned that such sporting events can result in boisterous behavior, and even a fight now and then.  At a minimum, the US Embassy tells us, such events can result in bad things like traffic jams!

The German news service Deutsche Welle goes further and lists some of the dangers that careless American might encounter: “Many of the viewers at the so-called fan miles, it turns out, are hopped up on a liquid intoxicant known as ‘beer.’ This substance has been known to lead to outbreaks of mirth, loss of equilibrium and unintended and later regretted coupling among users. In addition, soccer fiends have been reported to consume things called ‘bratwurst,’ which, depending on quality, can emit streams of hot fluid, known in street lingo as ‘grease,’ when improperly chomped upon.”

I hope that this means the State Department is getting ready for those other big dangerous event, like the Olympics, and even the Super Bowl in January. Such vigilance is important for American foreign policy which requires our allies to know how serious we are about security!  If we are serious about foreign soccer games, I am sure that the next time the United States warns the world that other countries are creating weapons of mass destruction,  America’s views are sure to be taken much more seriously!